Keep the Past, There.

Hello readers!

Lex had the longest three days she’s had in a very long time this weekend. Friday I went up to Ellicotville with Manmeat to celebrate my cousins wife (who has become one of my best friends) turning 30! I stayed up till 1am which is about 5 hours past my new average bed time. Saturday we walked around with the group for a bit then headed to Pumpkinville to meet my family. Pumpkinville has been a tradition for us as long as I could remember! It was so nice bringing Michael there so he could see a glimpse into my childhood. Then Sunday we went on a train with my uncles who invited us last minute! It was amazing having something to do everyday and with people I love but MAN AM I EXHAUSTED.

Bumpdate: I am starting to look more preggo than I am bloated!! (Finally!!) I am still tired as frickin heck but not throwing up every other hour. AND I booked our maternity pictures!! I am so excited for them! As my bump grows and more planning is done it’s becoming more and more real. I can’t wait to share the gender with you all but that won’t be for another month! I’m hoping things keep looking upwards since my first trimester was actual hell. Michael is continuing to be a champ and the best sidekick I could ask for during this.

I officially start my new job on Monday and it was not the job I was expecting to start! I get to work from home which I am pumped for. Thanks to my uncle for sending me this opportunity!

Enough updates on Lex for now.. now on to the good stuff..

If you’re reading this and you’re in your twenties there’s a pretty good chance you have an ex, or someone like an ex even if you didn’t date.

And if they’re an ex, they’re in your past, WHERE THEY SHOULD BE.

A lot of my comments consist of questions on how to get over someone, how I got over exes, how to be happy again, etc. And unfortunately one size does not fit all in this. But I’m here to give some Lex wisdom on what worked for me, what I think works best, and what I tell my own best friends when they’re struggling with this.

The first part is always the hardest because it means you’re acknowledging that this relationship or fling is over. The first part is cutting off communication/run-ins/their face. Maybe this is as simple as blocking their number but for some people (like *muah*) I went to the extent of muting friends and family so I had no opportunity for them to pop up in my head. Obviously sometimes our wicked brains just remind us of them no matter what but this is a good start to help the healing. If you don’t share a human/pet/property with them then why not just delete their number? Because no matter what you tell yourself if you text them about anything it’s just an excuse to talk to them again. Luckily for me I never memorized numbers so once I deleted it it was out of my mind for good.

Obviously you’re gonna sad as hell or pissed as hell and either way that’s OK. I like to think the second part to moving on is letting yourself be sad for a little. And by a little I mean a few days not a few weeks or few months. In the middle of a break up you always think “I will never find anyone else” but let’s admit we know we’re lying. I was terrified I would never find anyone else and then my prince charming smacked me in the face out of nowhere (not literally, Michael can barely hit a bee or spider). Allowing yourself time to be sad is healthy but there needs to be a time limit. No one likes hearing a girl still complain about her/his ex from years ago. After your sad second phase it’s time to remember who the hell you are.

Part three is for rebuilding yourself. Remember you were a capable single human before them and you are more the capable after them. Get yourself back out there. Party with your friends. Start doing things you stopped doing because of them. JUST GET BACK OUT. The minute you spark interest with someone else you will remember why it’s ok that things didn’t work out.

Maybe it’s way more complicated than three steps but for myself I summed it up and made it easy on myself. The person is in the past for a reason. One day you’ll figure out that reason. You’ll get to the point where days go by without thinking of them. Then weeks. Then months. Then BOOM. You only think about them if they’re brought up by someone else. Distractions are key, having fun is key, not reminiscing is key.

Something better, someone better, lies right around the corner. Maybe that corner is a few blocks away or maybe it’s gonna take you months to get there. Either way: you’re gonna get there. Luckily for me it wasn’t long and luckily for me it only took me two corners to meet my soulmate but everyone’s story is different.

Whether you need some positivity or someone to confide in- Lex has two ears to listen (just found out I’m mildly deaf in my right but it still counts). Always feel free to lay it on me, let it all out, and let me listen. It’s always better to not keep it in.

I’ll be back soon!

xoxo- Lex.