Finding Friends

Happy Tuesday everyone!

Baby Stella and I are in our third trimester and I am slowly regressing to that sleepy human I was in my first trimester. But baby shower is booked and invites are getting sent out tonight! It’s such a nice feeling having that out of the way. All the fun stuff is coming up now.

On a bit more sad note, my family and I had to say goodbye to our oldest pup, Joba two weeks ago. It was definitely one of the worst days I’ve ever experienced. Animals really become a part of the family and after 12 years, not having him running around is depressing. Our other pup, Buckeye, is struggling without him and it’s so sad to see. But we all know he’s healthy in heaven and we will see him again.

Not much else is going on in this cold, snowy world of Lex’s. Just spending nights cuddling with my Manmeat and watching our little babe kick me!

Now on to the juicy topic of this post: friends. (Ok, not that juicy but I just wanted to use the word ‘juicy’).

My friends don’t get enough spot light on here. They get me through some of the worst times and are the ones who keep me laughing.

I’m lucky to say that I have a core group of seven girls that I can go to for anything and that I trust with my life.

But these girls haven’t been in my life since preschool, or middle school, or even high school. They’ve all come into my life within the past 4 years.

Before I met them I had close friends that I’ve known for many years but they were friendships I grew out of. Going to a school with a graduating class of 485 left a lot of options for friends. I tried to be friends with everyone and I think I succeeded in that pretty well. There was never anyone I disliked and never anyone I wouldn’t hang out with.

As I grew older though, drama starts, you follow different paths, you become different people. Obviously there is nothing wrong with becoming your own people but sometimes too different of people don’t mesh well. You realize not everyone is a friend because they love and respect you but they’re your friend out of convenience and knowing you for so long. Now I look back at those friendships and cherish the good memories.

Don’t get me wrong- there are a handful of friendships (and I literally mean handful, 5 or less friendships) that I wish didn’t end for silly reasons but that’s life. I stay connected to those few people and see that they’re doing well and cheer them on from afar. Getting engaged, buying houses, following their dreams is still so exciting to see even if they’re not showing up at my house every weekend to hangout.

I do have two friendships with people I’ve known since I was 5 but again- people move away, people have different ambitions and life changes. But I think all these people know that they could call me at 2 am and I would be there for them if they needed. I always put that out there in my friendships: I’m a rock to lean on no matter how much time goes by.

Thankfully, I also have a ton of family that are also my best friends. From aunts, to cousins, to cousin-in-laws, to sister-in-laws, I have a core group of family members that I would be lost without. They are the people I know will be standing by my side on my wedding day and every other important day of my life- even the bad ones. I know I got blessed in that department and thank the big guy upstairs for it everyday. And hey, they can’t go anywhere even if they wanted 😉

So how did I end up in my little group of ladies I have now?

Well really it was a domino effect…

My aunt (who is one of my best friends and Stella’s godmother) happened to work with this fun, adorable, blonde named Bri. At the time I was only 17 so I just knew her as my aunt’s pretty blonde friend. Fast forward a few years and I started going out with them and hanging out and by default Bri and I became friends, then best friends. It’s a pretty special thing to have a best friend in common with your aunt who is also your best friend.

So after becoming friends with my blonde Bri, she had this other friend Bri who I was friends with on social media. I randomly tagged along one day and us three became ‘The Trio”. It is extremely difficult telling stories with them both in it so I decided to differentiate them as ‘blonde Bri’ and ‘brunette Bri’ or I refer to brunette Bri as Briana.

Naturally, we started hanging out with brunette Bri’s friends and sisters and it all snowballed into our little family we have now.

Most of them, other than myself, have known each other for much longer but it doesn’t really effect me. I have never had such mature (yet can have fun like we’re 16 again), successful, caring, funny individuals to call my friends.

They put up with me falling asleep when we have plans. They put up with all of random anxieties. They put up with me constantly making terrible dad jokes. They put up with me telling them I love them constantly.

I happen to be the baby of them all. Briana and Ang are the oldest and 8 years older than me but you would never be able to tell when we’re all together. They don’t treat me like I’m a baby but they always give me advice on things that they’ve already been through.

I’ve always gravitated to people that were older than me because I always felt older than my age. I don’t know if that’s from my life experiences or what but I think that’s why I am where I am with my friends.

Some of these girls are teachers, some are in the healthcare field, some are following their dreams of being bloggers, but all of them motivate me to be a better person.

You should never have to question if someone talks badly about you when you leave the room.

You should never be afraid to bring up a sensitive topic for fear of a drama shit-storm.

You should never have to explain yourself for being unavailable.

You should never question if these people would have your back at 3 am of a bad night.

Once you find that core group of people you can lean on, life changes.

I’ve never been so content and happy. I know Stella is going to have a plethora of real and fake aunts to take tons of pictures of her and shower her with love. I know that when I marry my soul mate they’ll be crying tears of joy next time. I know that on my hardest days they’ll come over with Tim Hortons and just keep me company like they always have.

Five years ago I was crying because I felt like I had no true friends to stick by my side. Five years ago I would’ve never expected to have the most beautiful group of friends by my side- all of whom I barely knew then.

I know that life will still get in the way. Some of us are already married with kids, some of us are on the way there, some of us might not have kids, so our lives will be different but I know that these are the women that won’t leave no matter how long we go without seeing each other or how different our lives are.

They are my low maintenance friends who I can sit in a room with and not say a peep because silence is comfortable or I can go downtown and scream and dance until 3 am with them.

They’re irreplaceable and I am so so lucky.

xoxo, Lex.